13 Reasons Why the Suicide Epidemic
When I wrote this post back in July this year, I had intended this to be my first published blog post. However, as you may know, that plan changed and my first published post became the piece I write of feminism , trans rights and online discourse.
At the time I wrote this piece, I had no personal experience of a suicide . I had previously in my own life had suicidal thoughts and behaviours, but nobody I know or loved had died by taking their own life.
That changed last month.
The loss of my younger brother Robert to the male suicide epidemic in the UK - which I discuss here in my previous blog post 'Dark Thoughts and Suicide' - sadly became my personal experience with suicide.
This, naturally, led me to re-evaluate my thoughts on the issue. Which is why I have chosen to post this blog at this time; with some edits which relate to my now personal experience with suicide.
'13 Reasons Why' has been controversial since the day it first aired on Netflix on the 31st of March 2017. Season one of the show centres on a young teenage girl, Hannah Baker, who is the victim of a brutal sexual assault and rape. After being bullied, humiliated and violated, Hannah asks the adults she trusts for help. She finds none. And, in a tragic ending to her story, she takes her own life.
The story is being told after her death by the existence of a series of recorded tapes she left behind and from the other character's perspectives.
One of the main criticisms of this show and its portrayal of the issues is that there has been a suggestion of a link found between an increased suicide rate and the time of the show airing.
Is this true?
It does seem at first glance easy to answer as a resounding 'yes, of course, it's true!'
But, let's go more in-depth into this alleged correlation.
The study which led to the controversy around `13 reasons' stated in its conclusion that " the release of 13 reasons why was associated with a significant increase in monthly suicide rates among US youths aged 10 to 17 years"
However, the results prove far more complex than the conclusion suggests.
The results state that the increase found in the suicide rate was to their surprise found among boys, it's noted clearly that there was no increase in suicide rate found among girls of the same age.
In fact the results section states there was no significant change in suicide rates at all after the airing of '13 reasons'
"Contrary to expectations, data from this study did not conclusively demonstrate that the release of 13 reasons why was associated with increased suicide rates in 10-17 year old girls... we found no significant change in level or trend of suicide after the shows release, both overall and by sex"
So, what does this mean?
It means that the suicide rate increase which was found was among boys, not girls, and that the overall increase was not significant enough to show a correlation between the shows airing and the apparent increase in 10-17 year old boys taking their own lives.
This leads us to ask, why? Why did the suicide rates appear to increase among young boys, after the airing of a show targeting young girls, and NOT young girls suicide rates?
We know statistically boys and men are more likely to take their lives than girls and women. Is it not possible that this sad and worrying increase in young boys taking their own lives, correlates to the rise in the male suicide epidemic more than it perhaps does to the airing of a T.V show?
There has long been a suggested correlation between celebrity suicides and increased or copycat suicides after a celebrity takes their own lives.
It so happens that sadly, in 2017 , the same year and only a few months after the airing of '13 reasons', Chester Bennington - the lead singer of the band Linking Park - took his own life. This led to fears of the known copycat suicide problem.
Scott Hutchison - the lead singer of the Scottish band Frightened Rabbit - also took his own life just last year.
While I can find no information about a rise in suicides to his death, I feel that Scott deserves a mention because, sadly, like so many men in the UK in recent years, he took his own life after a life long battle with his own mind. And Scott's death hits closer to him for me, being Scottish myself, and with the statistics showing that in 2017 Scotland had the highest male suicide rate in the whole of the UK, this comes along with a higher than average link to deprivation and poverty.
The 'media effect', as it has been termed, has been documented in some cases where the media depiction of suicide being seen to impact viewers. This issue is extremely under-researched and relying on a few studies and these studies are contradictory and inconclusive - in other studies, no such effect has been found;
"some of the studies provided evidence for a copycat, but some did not..therefore it just cannot be concluded whether fictional portrayals of suicidal behaviour of film and television increases the incidence in the population"
"Prikis and colleagues reviewed the literate regarding film and television drama portrayals of suicide. The group was unable to offer conclusive answers to questions surrounding the impact of fictional suicides on actual suicidal outcomes in the general population".
However, the W.H.O have created a set of guidelines for the media to follow in regard to self-harm and suicide depictions :
This is perhaps where the show 13 reasons why failed in season one, it didn't follow these guidelines to the letter. Many people have taken the tapes Hannah recorded as a romanticised solution, and yes, the depiction, manner, method and place were detailed.
And, as a result of the backlash, Netflix recently agreed to cut out arguably the most controversial scene from season one, which involved the main character ending her life.
I was actually able to watch the offending scene recently again, before it was censored. Yes, it is graphic, yes it is extremely difficult to watch. But, isn't that the point? and isn't that why we have to watch it?
Is it not possible that we have so much discomfort around the idea of suicide and death that we push it away? is it not possible that we ask for it to be removed from our sight? Is it not possible that we perhaps subconsciously believe that this somehow changes it, when really all it changes is our discomfort?
We are experiencing a society in which men are having a mental health decline, we are experiencing men who feel they have no way out. We are experiencing a worldwide male suicide epidemic.
I have watched the video below a lot, I recommend watching it - whether you find it funny or not - because the comedy is not the point.
This is a young man from the U.S., Bo Burnham, talking to the audience who have come to his show to see him perform comedy. What he gives us is raw, hard, honesty about his own mental health in a way we, as the audience, can easily digest. What he gives the audience is far more than a simple comedic performance.
So much is said in this performance and yet, how much have we truly listened to? How much have we truly heard? How much are we not truly listening to because it makes us feel discomfort?
Does it not seem like we should be listening more now than ever, rather than looking to quieten our discomfort and silence the voices of those asking us for help?
Of course, I am not attributing a cause to male suicide, or any suicide, we know it's a highly complex issue. I am simply highlighting that there are so many other factors which cannot be underestimated in this issue. And, that the cause of suicide, and the rise in the suicide rate - in any country at any time - can, in truth, be attributed to any number of things. So many things. It cannot be simplified down to 'it's because of that T.V show' because we know unequivocally how complicated it truly is.
Mental health, depression and suicide are highly complex psychological issues, with so many highly complex reasons; some of which we know, some of which we don't. And believe me, I know how much we need to attribute a single cause, I know how much we need something to focus our pain and loss on. I have been through that over and over since my brother took his life.
But, we know, we know that in truth we can never really know why someone takes their own life. Not unless they have explicitly explained beforehand, and even then, they may not know either.
And it is for this reason, we HAVE to talk about it, this is why we HAVE to listen. No matter how hard or uncomfortable it is for us.
Real-life suicidal feelings, real-life suicide, is not easy to know about, hear about or to watch, why should the T.V depiction of real-life trauma be watered down, when the entire point in such shows is to educate us and to be a voice for those in that dark place?
Shouldn't we confront the discomfort in order to support those who need us?
For me, this backlash and censorship of 13 reasons why begs the question, if we cant sit and watch a fictional depiction of a girl with suicidal behavior after experiencing sexual assault and rape, how can we listen to real living human beings talk to us about real sexual assault, real rape, real mental health, and real suicide?
and most importantly, how can we help them if we can't even listen to them?
My brother came to us with his suicidal thoughts and feelings. He sat on the sofa describing the manner in which he would do it. We even talked him down from it twice. Not one bit of it was easy, not one bit of it was comfortable. It was horrible, it felt like I had a weight on me I couldn't bear
But we had to listen, and we had to hear
We had to do that for him
Because at that moment when someone is asking for your help, our comfort was not the thing that mattered. Ensuring this person knew they COULD speak about suicidal thoughts and feelings without judgment, without shame, without overreaction. That was far more important to us than our own comfort.
Hannah is silenced in the show, over and over. Her narrative is taken from her by those she trusted to listen.
The scene below shows Hannah ask her counselor for help, ultimately she is dismissed and told to move on. She is not heard.
And what do we, the audience, do when faced with this uncomfortable pain? what do we do when a show centers the voice of the vulnerable and the victim?
We censor it.
To me, this makes me feel like we have not heard a word the show was telling us. We, yet again, were not listening. The show makes the point over and over that Hannah was silenced, she was ignored, she was dismissed, because the comfort of those she asked for help was more important to them.
We have to learn from that.
We have to listen to and learn from the voices of vulnerable and victim, not silence them.
Let's not dance about this, if someone wants to find a way to take their own life, they can and they will. This has been a problem for a very long time, and it is likely to continue to be a problem for a long time to come.
Online is infected with people searching the questions "how to kill myself?" and " best ways to kill myself?" I searched these terms up myself and the results came back as 343,000,000 results and 244,000,000 respectively.
These results do not exist because of a T.V. show, they exist because they are being searched for. They exist because people are thinking about taking their own life and want to know how to do it.
If we are truly honest with ourselves, we will accept that the search for ways to die online isn't increased by T.V shows or films or games. The search is increased because people want to die. The rise in suicide is increased because people want to die.
What we have to do then is, as a society, ask ourselves why?
Why do so many thousands of people want to die? Why are so many young people and so many men in our society so vulnerable to taking their own life?
Scott Hutchison's brother has stated that he believes much more has to be done by the government and the NHS mental health services for vulnerable people
I have talked about this problem for years, both online and off. This is not something new to me. I have had at least 30 years of personal experience in regard to this problem. But, for my brother to be left to his own devices, when he was in such an obviously vulnerable mental state, which led him to then take his own life, has really brought it home to me just how bad things are here in the UK, how bad things are here in Scotland, when it comes to mental health services
What we have are lots of campaigns, lots of platitudes such as "every mind matters", lots of slogans such as "see me" and lots of awareness - as I discussed in Dark Thoughts and Suicide. But we have no real help.
Being told to 'ask for help' and 'talk to friends and family' forms a foundation for most of these campaigns, as we can see in this video from the Scottish Government just this month for 'Movember' - a campaign with a focus on men's health.
However, nobody tells you what to do when the help isn't there, or what to do when the help you get is inadequate.
This is what happened to my brother Robert when he 'asked for help'.
There is no help. There is no support.
There are just families and friends fighting a hopeless, unwinnable battle by themselves, with a lot of talk from those who should help, but with no real action, no money where their mouth is.
At the time I wrote this piece, I had no personal experience of a suicide . I had previously in my own life had suicidal thoughts and behaviours, but nobody I know or loved had died by taking their own life.
That changed last month.
The loss of my younger brother Robert to the male suicide epidemic in the UK - which I discuss here in my previous blog post 'Dark Thoughts and Suicide' - sadly became my personal experience with suicide.
This, naturally, led me to re-evaluate my thoughts on the issue. Which is why I have chosen to post this blog at this time; with some edits which relate to my now personal experience with suicide.
13 Reasons Why
'13 Reasons Why' has been controversial since the day it first aired on Netflix on the 31st of March 2017. Season one of the show centres on a young teenage girl, Hannah Baker, who is the victim of a brutal sexual assault and rape. After being bullied, humiliated and violated, Hannah asks the adults she trusts for help. She finds none. And, in a tragic ending to her story, she takes her own life.
The story is being told after her death by the existence of a series of recorded tapes she left behind and from the other character's perspectives.
Controversy
One of the main criticisms of this show and its portrayal of the issues is that there has been a suggestion of a link found between an increased suicide rate and the time of the show airing.
Is this true?
It does seem at first glance easy to answer as a resounding 'yes, of course, it's true!'
But, let's go more in-depth into this alleged correlation.
The study which led to the controversy around `13 reasons' stated in its conclusion that " the release of 13 reasons why was associated with a significant increase in monthly suicide rates among US youths aged 10 to 17 years"
However, the results prove far more complex than the conclusion suggests.
The results state that the increase found in the suicide rate was to their surprise found among boys, it's noted clearly that there was no increase in suicide rate found among girls of the same age.
In fact the results section states there was no significant change in suicide rates at all after the airing of '13 reasons'
"Contrary to expectations, data from this study did not conclusively demonstrate that the release of 13 reasons why was associated with increased suicide rates in 10-17 year old girls... we found no significant change in level or trend of suicide after the shows release, both overall and by sex"
So, what does this mean?
It means that the suicide rate increase which was found was among boys, not girls, and that the overall increase was not significant enough to show a correlation between the shows airing and the apparent increase in 10-17 year old boys taking their own lives.
This leads us to ask, why? Why did the suicide rates appear to increase among young boys, after the airing of a show targeting young girls, and NOT young girls suicide rates?
We know statistically boys and men are more likely to take their lives than girls and women. Is it not possible that this sad and worrying increase in young boys taking their own lives, correlates to the rise in the male suicide epidemic more than it perhaps does to the airing of a T.V show?
Celebrity Suicide and Copycats
There has long been a suggested correlation between celebrity suicides and increased or copycat suicides after a celebrity takes their own lives.
It so happens that sadly, in 2017 , the same year and only a few months after the airing of '13 reasons', Chester Bennington - the lead singer of the band Linking Park - took his own life. This led to fears of the known copycat suicide problem.
Scott Hutchison - the lead singer of the Scottish band Frightened Rabbit - also took his own life just last year.
While I can find no information about a rise in suicides to his death, I feel that Scott deserves a mention because, sadly, like so many men in the UK in recent years, he took his own life after a life long battle with his own mind. And Scott's death hits closer to him for me, being Scottish myself, and with the statistics showing that in 2017 Scotland had the highest male suicide rate in the whole of the UK, this comes along with a higher than average link to deprivation and poverty.
Suicide Contagion and the Media
The 'media effect', as it has been termed, has been documented in some cases where the media depiction of suicide being seen to impact viewers. This issue is extremely under-researched and relying on a few studies and these studies are contradictory and inconclusive - in other studies, no such effect has been found;
"some of the studies provided evidence for a copycat, but some did not..therefore it just cannot be concluded whether fictional portrayals of suicidal behaviour of film and television increases the incidence in the population"
"Prikis and colleagues reviewed the literate regarding film and television drama portrayals of suicide. The group was unable to offer conclusive answers to questions surrounding the impact of fictional suicides on actual suicidal outcomes in the general population".
However, the W.H.O have created a set of guidelines for the media to follow in regard to self-harm and suicide depictions :
- "take the opportunity to educate the public about suicide
- avoid language which sensationalises or normalises suicide, or presents it as a solution to problem
- avoid explicit description of the method used in a completed or attempted suicide
- avoid detailed information about the side of a completed or attempted suicide "
This is perhaps where the show 13 reasons why failed in season one, it didn't follow these guidelines to the letter. Many people have taken the tapes Hannah recorded as a romanticised solution, and yes, the depiction, manner, method and place were detailed.
And, as a result of the backlash, Netflix recently agreed to cut out arguably the most controversial scene from season one, which involved the main character ending her life.
I was actually able to watch the offending scene recently again, before it was censored. Yes, it is graphic, yes it is extremely difficult to watch. But, isn't that the point? and isn't that why we have to watch it?
Is it not possible that we have so much discomfort around the idea of suicide and death that we push it away? is it not possible that we ask for it to be removed from our sight? Is it not possible that we perhaps subconsciously believe that this somehow changes it, when really all it changes is our discomfort?
Time For Honesty
We are experiencing a society in which men are having a mental health decline, we are experiencing men who feel they have no way out. We are experiencing a worldwide male suicide epidemic.
I have watched the video below a lot, I recommend watching it - whether you find it funny or not - because the comedy is not the point.
This is a young man from the U.S., Bo Burnham, talking to the audience who have come to his show to see him perform comedy. What he gives us is raw, hard, honesty about his own mental health in a way we, as the audience, can easily digest. What he gives the audience is far more than a simple comedic performance.
So much is said in this performance and yet, how much have we truly listened to? How much have we truly heard? How much are we not truly listening to because it makes us feel discomfort?
Does it not seem like we should be listening more now than ever, rather than looking to quieten our discomfort and silence the voices of those asking us for help?
Of course, I am not attributing a cause to male suicide, or any suicide, we know it's a highly complex issue. I am simply highlighting that there are so many other factors which cannot be underestimated in this issue. And, that the cause of suicide, and the rise in the suicide rate - in any country at any time - can, in truth, be attributed to any number of things. So many things. It cannot be simplified down to 'it's because of that T.V show' because we know unequivocally how complicated it truly is.
Mental health, depression and suicide are highly complex psychological issues, with so many highly complex reasons; some of which we know, some of which we don't. And believe me, I know how much we need to attribute a single cause, I know how much we need something to focus our pain and loss on. I have been through that over and over since my brother took his life.
But, we know, we know that in truth we can never really know why someone takes their own life. Not unless they have explicitly explained beforehand, and even then, they may not know either.
And it is for this reason, we HAVE to talk about it, this is why we HAVE to listen. No matter how hard or uncomfortable it is for us.
Real-life suicidal feelings, real-life suicide, is not easy to know about, hear about or to watch, why should the T.V depiction of real-life trauma be watered down, when the entire point in such shows is to educate us and to be a voice for those in that dark place?
Shouldn't we confront the discomfort in order to support those who need us?
For me, this backlash and censorship of 13 reasons why begs the question, if we cant sit and watch a fictional depiction of a girl with suicidal behavior after experiencing sexual assault and rape, how can we listen to real living human beings talk to us about real sexual assault, real rape, real mental health, and real suicide?
and most importantly, how can we help them if we can't even listen to them?
My brother came to us with his suicidal thoughts and feelings. He sat on the sofa describing the manner in which he would do it. We even talked him down from it twice. Not one bit of it was easy, not one bit of it was comfortable. It was horrible, it felt like I had a weight on me I couldn't bear
But we had to listen, and we had to hear
We had to do that for him
Because at that moment when someone is asking for your help, our comfort was not the thing that mattered. Ensuring this person knew they COULD speak about suicidal thoughts and feelings without judgment, without shame, without overreaction. That was far more important to us than our own comfort.
Hannah is silenced in the show, over and over. Her narrative is taken from her by those she trusted to listen.
The scene below shows Hannah ask her counselor for help, ultimately she is dismissed and told to move on. She is not heard.
And what do we, the audience, do when faced with this uncomfortable pain? what do we do when a show centers the voice of the vulnerable and the victim?
We censor it.
To me, this makes me feel like we have not heard a word the show was telling us. We, yet again, were not listening. The show makes the point over and over that Hannah was silenced, she was ignored, she was dismissed, because the comfort of those she asked for help was more important to them.
We have to learn from that.
We have to listen to and learn from the voices of vulnerable and victim, not silence them.
Let's not dance about this, if someone wants to find a way to take their own life, they can and they will. This has been a problem for a very long time, and it is likely to continue to be a problem for a long time to come.
Online is infected with people searching the questions "how to kill myself?" and " best ways to kill myself?" I searched these terms up myself and the results came back as 343,000,000 results and 244,000,000 respectively.
These results do not exist because of a T.V. show, they exist because they are being searched for. They exist because people are thinking about taking their own life and want to know how to do it.
If we are truly honest with ourselves, we will accept that the search for ways to die online isn't increased by T.V shows or films or games. The search is increased because people want to die. The rise in suicide is increased because people want to die.
What we have to do then is, as a society, ask ourselves why?
Why do so many thousands of people want to die? Why are so many young people and so many men in our society so vulnerable to taking their own life?
Asking for Help
I have talked about this problem for years, both online and off. This is not something new to me. I have had at least 30 years of personal experience in regard to this problem. But, for my brother to be left to his own devices, when he was in such an obviously vulnerable mental state, which led him to then take his own life, has really brought it home to me just how bad things are here in the UK, how bad things are here in Scotland, when it comes to mental health services
What we have are lots of campaigns, lots of platitudes such as "every mind matters", lots of slogans such as "see me" and lots of awareness - as I discussed in Dark Thoughts and Suicide. But we have no real help.
Being told to 'ask for help' and 'talk to friends and family' forms a foundation for most of these campaigns, as we can see in this video from the Scottish Government just this month for 'Movember' - a campaign with a focus on men's health.
However, nobody tells you what to do when the help isn't there, or what to do when the help you get is inadequate.
My brother self-referred to a hospital. He texted us to let us know what
was going on, nobody else called us to discuss his current situation; in fact,
nobody from the hospital talked to us at all, at any time. He was allowed to leave the hospital because he was a self-referral.
He killed himself only days later.
This is what happened to my brother Robert when he 'asked for help'.
There is no help. There is no support.
There are just families and friends fighting a hopeless, unwinnable battle by themselves, with a lot of talk from those who should help, but with no real action, no money where their mouth is.
It was left to us, to Robert's family and friends, to try to convince him to not kill himself. And we didn't even have all the information. How can we help someone if we are left in the dark by the medical professionals charged with caring for people with vulnerable states of mental health?
The amount of pressure it puts on those around someone who is suicidal is immense. I'm sure that those who have had this same sad and traumatic experience will recognise the feeling of being so powerless, that you have so little to offer them, and yet, the responsibility which feels like it's yours and yours alone.
And yet, if you look at all the campaigns above, they focus heavily on 'talking to family and friends' with little consideration for the mental health of those people. Most of us trying to help depressed and suicidal loved ones are just people with little to no experience in mental health or psychology, many of whom have even been or are at the time ourselves depressed or suicidal or have other mental health conditions.
It is absolutely irresponsible to leave the care of someone so vulnerable and in need of professional attention in the care of other vulnerable family and friends. All this does is pass around the pain and put every person involved themselves at an increased risk of suicide due to 'suicide contagion'.
Solution?
I will be honest here, I don't know the answer as to how to fix the suicide epidemic. I can only suggest that we perhaps look to Sweden with its extraordinarily low suicide rates which are vastly different to its once high suicide rates. How did Sweden manage this amazing turnaround? "cultural attitudes regarding suicide...the government responded to the crisis with social welfare and mental health services"
However, finding a solution to the suicide epidemic is complicated and difficult. This video, put up the very same month my own brother took his life, shows the worldwide trends of suicide. We have to be able to look at this, to look at our society and admit to ourselves, this is not because of a T.V show; and we have to look for the real 'reasons why' in order to stop more people losing their lives, more people losing their loved ones to the suicide epidemic.
TL;DR
I began this piece by saying that losing my own brother to suicide has led me to re-evaluate my views on the airing of 13 reasons why, and it did.
I can honestly say, my conclusions have not only remained the same, but, have become stronger and I now believe, unequivocally, we HAVE to talk about this, in all it's real, honest horror, we have to look at it, we have to listen to those talking about it. We have to forgo our own comfort for those we love and we have to find a way to fix this.
I believe we have to be open and honest when we are in a dark place, and we have to allow for other people to be the same when they are in a dark place.
I believe we should be having open, adult discussions and we should be allowing the younger generations to have their own discussions in which we don't do the talking, but instead do the listening.
I believe we have to listen, and we have to hear them, despite our discomfort, We owe them that much, don't we?
I believe that we should be extremely cautious with how we use these studies, their research, their results and their conclusions.
Could 13 reasons why have portrayed it differently? Definitely! could they have portrayed it in a way that was more censored? of course! But, in doing so, does this not change the narrative from the person asking for help, to that of the person they are asking help from? And does this not effectively silence them?
If 'asking for help' is so central to the fight against the suicide epidemic, should we not be willing to listen to those asking for help? Should we not be willing to allow them to tell their story, their way?
The bravery of asking for help cannot be negated by our need for comfort, we can't allow that to happen anymore. We can't lie to people and tell them they can ask us for help, talk about anything, and rescind that as soon as we feel discomfort at the things they say.
We cannot attribute blame or cause no matter how much we may need to, and I do understand that need.
We HAVE to be more invested in learning and understanding the complexities of mental health and suicidal ideation or behaviours ; including sociological and psychological factors. And we HAVE to consider the impact of the external environment conditions and stimuli such as poverty, family or relationship stressors, long term or out of the blue unemployment, individual mental or physical health and on and on.
We HAVE to be more invested in learning and understanding the complexities of mental health and suicidal ideation or behaviours ; including sociological and psychological factors. And we HAVE to consider the impact of the external environment conditions and stimuli such as poverty, family or relationship stressors, long term or out of the blue unemployment, individual mental or physical health and on and on.
There are so many factors, and each of these factors has to be considered in their own individual and social context for us to even attempt to understand the issues around suicide in vulnerable groups such as young people and men.
Lastly, and most importantly, I believe now more than ever that the deficit in the mental health services in the Scottish NHS and in the UK NHS are fatally failing vulnerable people, their families and society as a whole. And I believe now more than ever, that this has to change.
I will leave you with this thought, listening to someone talk about suicide is hard, but feeling suicidal is harder. It can be made easier if the person is heard, really heard. If they are allowed to tell their story, their way.
We have to listen to how they feel, no matter the discomfort we feel. It is literally the least we can do for people in that dark place, listen to their real pain, their real thoughts, their real feelings, in all it's raw, painful horror.
We can't leave them alone in the dark.
We can't leave them alone in the dark.
We owe them that.
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